So I know you all have been wondering what's be going on with Jenna. I haven't been blogging regularly since September. I could write a book on what's been going on in my life and I don't want to Hang all my dirty laundry out on the internet but I've been fighting for my marriage since then and ultimately lost the war. It's really hard to blog about life when it's a little bit depressing. Sean has decided he doesn't want to be married to me anymore and I know this is a small paragraph about something huge in my life but I honestly don't have the energy to talk about it anymore.
I would like to ask all you guys out there for prayers because I'm hurting and I'm exhausted and I'm beat. I don't want this divorce but I can't make a marriage work by myself and the Lord knows I've tried. I'm not placing the blame on either of us, because we both have our faults in this matter.
If anyone out there has gone through a divorce or a hard breakup and has any inspiring things to say about how life gets better...let me know! It would do much good to see that life does go on. I mean I know it does and I know my life will be better and less stressful and that God has an amazing plan for me but I just can't talk my Head into explaining to my heart what it knows.
I'm still holding on to a small hope that our marriage can be restored but I think it's just tears on a river...
Don't feel sorry for me though! I'll make it on a wing and a prayer... I'm OK by the way. I'll be just fine, I know that. I'm just a little worried about who will take over Sean's responsibilities now that I'm not.... ok sorry no more derogatory remarks about the manchild....crap sorry. Ok No more. (still trying to let go of all that built up anger)
I'm seriously gonna be ok. I deserve to be Loved and Cherished and Cared for and I know that. I know that I'll find someone someday but honestly right now I have some making up to do for myself. I let myself stoop to a level that I shouldn't have. I quit caring about myself and my needs and my wants and it's time to start loving myself. It's time I mend my relationship with me. I'm sorry Me. I also know this is the time to strengthen my relationship with God, because he is the only Man that will never let me down...no human can ever be as wonderful and loving as Jesus because he was the only perfect human. All humans make bad decisions and mistakes and Jesus knows how many I've made but because HE lives, my sins are all forgiven.
So Now blog world... Meet Jenna Millwood... (on the left... thats my beautiful sister Leah on the right)
Oh and I'll be revamping the blog. Cause Life is no longer on the Circle T Ranch... Aren't you super excited to see what is to come for me?! Because I am!!
"We Must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -E.M. Forster
15 comments:
Praying for you. And I am so sorry your going through this.
So sorry to hear about the divorce. But I know you are a strong woman and you will come out on top! Spend some time making you the best you that you can be. I feel like I just said you too many times. Anyways we are all in support of you and only want the best :)
I have missed you dearly. I have not been blogging alot lately either. I know you and Sean have had your ups and downs as you have told me before.
I am sorry I have no words of great wisdom for you on divorce but please know that I am praying for you both and think it's truely amazing that you have a wonderful attitude of your life going forward.
I wish you the best sweetheart and many hugs too!!!
Welcome back, Jenna! We've missed you! I'll be praying for you during transition! Again, SO GLAD you're back!
I am so sorry! I will be praying for you. You are an amazing person and have so much going for you, You are right God has so many great plans for you even if it doesn't seem like it now.
Prayers and Lots of ((((Hugs))))
P.S. Don't worry who is going to take care of him, he is a big boy :)
praying for you Jenna. I am sorry about your divorce and what you are going through right now but life does go on and it will get better.
I have never been married before but in 2003 I thought I found "The One" 3 years later he went crazy. Started treating me bad verbally and then physically. I took both for awhile. Thinking I had put this much time into our relationship I wasn't going to let it go. I fought for our relationship and noticed I was the only one fighting for that. I didn't know what I would do without him or how I could live another day. But I decided to leave him and I gave up on men and when I stopped looking I found Scotty. When I met Scotty I told him I wasn't interested in anything more than a friend, and 3 wks later we were dating. Now 4 years this june we will be married in the fall. Crazy how life works out, but God will steer you in the right direction. You will find "the one" everything happens for a reason and all things lead us to bigger and better things.
I am praying for you. I will pass along another blog of someone who was/is going through something similar as her words etc may help.
She has been going through a divorce and just started dating.
http://scarlett402.blogspot.com/
I have missed you and your blogging - I hope you come back when you have time.
Oh my gosh, when you hadn't blogged for so long, I prayed that this was not why. I hope you are doing ok. On the bright side, whenever I have gone through a break up, I always lose a bunch of weight. So here's to losing those 10 pounds that you wanted to lose. Haha just kidding, you look great. I just realized this probably sounds like a creaper message, but I have been reading your blog for a while, I just have never commented. Best of luck to you. I can't wait to hear what new big and better things you are headed for.
Jenna! Hi friend :-) Thinking of you during this rough time. Like the other girls have said, you will come up on top-- you're a strong, motivated, creative and caring individual. You wouldn't have been given this obstacle if you couldn't overcome. Rely on your family, start reloving yourself, and enjoy life. If you need anything, we're all here for you!! :-) TAKE CARE and hope to see you around more often :-)
Big prayers girl! So sorry to hear you are struggling. We have missed your posts though and are glad to see you back on:)
Jenna, i was thinking of you just today & wondering how things were going. Then i saw you had posted. I am so sorry about you & Sean. I have not been through this, but i know you are right on saying you will work on your relationship with God & on taking care of yourself FIRST. That's an awesome attitude! I am praying lots & lots for you! I would love to see restoration also, and i will pray for that too. But if not... I know God still has a better plan for you than you can imagine. HUGS!
I'm so sorry to hear this! I can't imagine... But it sounds like you are keeping the right attitude. :)
Praying for you sweet girl! I have been thinking about you while you were away and hoping that things would work out for you! I have missed you and glad you are back and have such a great attitude about the life that awaits you. You will be great and Im excited to see what great things are gonna happen in your life!
Whew! This had to be a HARD post to write, but you did a great job! You sound positive and are taking the right approach to such a hard situation. You are right you deserve the best and taking this time to get to know you better is a fabulous plan!
Thinking of you ~ hang in there girl!
Jenna,
I have been absent from the blogging world for a bit now so I am just now reading this post. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Just know that I am praying for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through but I know that you will come out on top because you are an amazing lady. If you need anything at all, I am here.
Post a Comment