Car Keys

I know My blog is usually about my life in the "now" but I have a pretty funny story that I'd like to blog about, I don't know what reminded me of this but I just had to share.  It's really long but if you feel like being semi-entertained then take the time to read it..

Let's travel all the way back in time to the year 2003, My freshman year of college. I had just joined a sorority and we went to all the parties around campus. We hung out with one fraternity in particular that always partied at a guy's house named PJ. PJ lived with is parents in a huge two story house, with a huge deck out back. He lived in the downstairs area, which was like a second house itself with a kitchen, living room, etc. PJ's parents were cool, and would come hang out with us sometime, but for the most part they didn't care how many people were partying at their house, and sometimes there would be close to 100 people there.

We all became really close, those of us who partied together on a regular basis. We were always at PJ's, we'd even have study groups meet at his house to study before we started partying. It was probably the only reason I passed college...those study groups :) PJ's was fun, they started a Midnight Madness party where you woke up at midnight and partied until sunrise...I never did attend those parties, I'd planned on it but once I was asleep, there was no waking me up. There were also White Trash Wednesdays, where you dressed like white trash and partied every Wednesday..hence the name.  My favorite costume was where I dressed as a pregnant woman with a black eye and kept a cigarette behind one ear...(thanks Erin) ha!

There was this one guy, Ed, that we partied with that never knew when enough was enough. He would drink himself into a stupor every night and pass out. It became an on going joke to draw on him with Sharpies once he was out. He was also known for wetting himself quite often while passed out. It's kind of sad now that I think about it, we probably should've gotten him some kind of help, but back then it was funny.

One night me and a couple of my Sorority Sisters went over to PJ's house for a party. Late into the night me and my girlfriend, we'll call her Natoshya, went to pee in the bathroom. We went in together because we're girls and that's what we do. Natoshya was paranoid about peeing in a bathroom with a shower/shower curtain because she was always afraid some immature perverted boy would be back there hiding. After telling me this I laughed and told her there was no one behind that shower curtain and then flung the shower curtain back...much to my surprise, laying in the empty tub, was Ed. He was passed out drunk and there was writing all over him. His pants were wet, and low and behold someone had shaved half of his head bald.

We both screamed because we were so startled that someone was actually behind the shower curtain. Apparently, he had wet himself and so they just put him in the tub incase it happened again. The boys got a big kick out of us being startled and then moved Ed into a bedroom and put him to sleep on the floor.

Well, as the night came to a close we started to get our coats together and leave. That's when I realized that my car keys were not in my coat pocket.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm very bad at keeping up with things. I misplace everything that isn't attached to my body on a daily basis. Sean gets really mad at me for it but I can't help that I'm absent minded, I'm really working on it. Anyway, we turned the entire house upside down looking for my car keys and finally gave up and I luckily had a spare key in my gas tank.

The next day I returned to PJ's house to look for my keys.  It was an expensive set to loose...My dorm keys were on my key ring and if you lost your dorm keys then you had to pay 100 bucks.  Not to menion the 50 bucks you had to pay for a replacement key for my Jeep. We had no luck finding my keys and I finally just gave up and kicked myself in the butt for being so careless.

As the semester was coming to a close and it became time to turn in my dorm keys, of course they were still missing.  I just couldn't help but search one more time for my keys at PJ's house. I thought maybe I should look under his deck incase they fell out of my coat pocket and fell between the cracks in the deck. We searched and searched under that deck and I didn't find my keys, but you'll never guess what I did find... A Ziploc baggy full of hair. I held it up and yelled, "PJ, what in the world his this?"  PJ fell to the ground laughing...apparently it was Ed's hair from that night a few months earlier.  After they had shaved his hair off, they saved it to give to him the next day. Ew..

To make the story even more weird... four years later, my senior year I got a call from PJ. His parents were redoing the deck and the flowerbeds around the deck. They had uncovered a set of keys in the flowerbeds that looked like they might belong to me. Sure enough, four years later, I found my keys. Even though I had already paid the fine for loosing my dorm keys, and I had a new vehicle and no longer needed the car keys, I was glad to have found them.

I always find what I loose, sooner or later.

Grumpy

Here's some random things with a Funny Friday thrown in...

I'm SOOOO tired today and grumpy. I couldn't sleep last night for some reason, so I'm paying for it today. When Sean left yesterday he took the toothpaste....I didn't realize it until I went to brush my teeth last night. I had to drive to the convenient store on the way to work and grab some toothpaste and brush my teeth at work, it was embarassing...Hey Sean, Don't steal the toothpaste!

He's in Jackson, MS today and Starksville MS tomorrow..he said they got snowed on last night.  Hopefully he does good!!!

I have two photography appointments this weekend, woo hoo!

The dogs barked all night last night.  I left them outside until right before I went to bed and they barked and barked and barked...but not like at the door, they just ran around the house barking at things...which makes me wonder, do they bark like that all day long or are they just trying to let me know things are outside..like horses and cows.

I'm so excited I get to see the Movie Valentines Day, tonight!! yay! It's also Friday so that makes me feel a little better.

Today Kelly is hosting a friday funny and I found some funny Valentines day Gift Ideas.

A coffe mug that doubles as a wedding ring, it comes in a huge ring box...

You can make your Valentine Egg shaped hearts with An heartshaped egg mold.

This would totally be the appropriate Valentines day gift for me right now... i'm just in a bad mood today.

These are hilarious...perfect for immature guys!  They get bigger as they cook..ha!

What a Great Valentines day card...a little creapy though.

I hope everyone has a good Valentines day Weekend! 

Frozen Friday

Ok I'm totally eating my words...the weather is Horrible now! The roads are covered in ice and since we don't have snow tires and snow plows, traveling is pretty much out of the question. So no gym for me tonight, I also had a list of errands to run tomorrow and it looks like I won't be doing those either. This sucks...it's so cold and everything is frozen solid!! I'd much rather have snow than ice.. hopefully we'll keep our electricity! Hope everyone is having a warm and safe weekend!!

I've had a boring day and thought I'd post a few of the funny things I found for Funny Friday over at Keeping up with kelly  Co.

 

Wow, there are some weird people out there...Happy Friday!

Don't fish in the Bidet

Kelly at Keeping up with Kelly & Company is hosting a Friday Funny.  Just link up and show us different things that made you laugh this week!

 I found these at llpoints.com pretty funny sight.  I can't help but giggle outloud at all of these and I love to giggle.  hehe

Notice the Grafitti under the sign...

They really should have looked into adding a space between the Kids and Exchange... Or maybe they really do Kid's Sex Changes there??

I wonder if they thought the name of this bait shop through or if it's owned by two teenagers??

Am I missing something here?  Does a hoolahoop do something else I'm not aware of??  If so..let me know. 

I bet George Brownridge was pretty popular with the guys for at least one day.

How to use a Bidet.  Do not stand in front of, puke in, hover over, fish out of, or squat like a dog in bidet.  Thanks. 

I think My husband is "Dear John"

Have a great weekend!! 

Oh Deer

I'm feeling a little better and since I slept all day long, I can't seem to go back to sleep now. I'm still achy and stuffy but the coughing has postponed itself until the cough medicine wears off and the fever has broken hopefully for good. I'm currently day four of the flu, which is hopefully the beginning of the end.

So now that I'm up I wanted to get a story off my chest before I forget. So it was just recently muzzle loading season here in Central Arkansas (deer hunting with a certain type of gun) Sean went hunting almost every morning/evening of the season and saw a few deer. Sunday was the last day and he and his friend Jaret went out into the hay meadow to sit upon the stands they have so carefully placed in front of the food plot they have so carefully planted, to kill us some deer meet.

Let me pause here to explain that the hay meadow at the Circle T ranch is across the river and though the forest from my house...between a huge cliff like hill, and the river. Upon the cliff is a subdivision called Hidden Valley...the Circle T's few hundred acres of hay meadows being that valley. Sean's Aunt and Cousins live right on the edge of the cliff and their back porch view is right over the hay meadow (it's quite beautiful.)

Anyway let me just give you a run down of what happened Sunday Morning. Sean was sitting on one end of the field, Jaret on the other. A doe jumped out of the field in front of Jaret's stand and walked about halfway into the meadow. Because it was late in the morning and they were getting hungry for breakfast at the Waffle House, Jaret called Sean on his phone and started harassing him about not being able to hit the doe with his muzzle loader, which was about 250 yards away.

Let's break from that part of the story and go over to the top of the cliff where Sean's Aunt and Cousins are getting ready for Church. Emily was sitting on the back porch enjoying her breakfast when she spotted far away a sweet little doe leap into the field and start to graze along. Now Emily is not part of the family, she's married into it like I am, but unlike me, she wasn't Raised around deer hunters and has not one inkling about deer hunting. I see a deer and I think, "shoot. Kill. eat." She sees deer she thinks " Aw, Bambi." So Emily sees this doe and cries "Oh Come here everyone!! Look at the Deer! How sweet! The sweet Little Deer!"

OK lets take the story back to Sean and Jaret below in the meadow (figured out what happens yet??) Jaret keeps on with Sean, "Dude you suck, there is NO way you can hit that deer from where you are!" Sean says "Oh yes I can watch this!" BAAANNGG

*deer falls, blood exits wound profusely*

Emily screams..
Sean's Aunt called me tonight to tell me all about Emily's experience. I've never laughed so hard in my life... I found if funny...sorry... Bless Emily's Heart...I would hate for a non-hunter to have to witness that early in the morning before Church...she's probably scarred for life now... But at least we have some Deer meet for the next Few months!!!

Happy Hunting!
sorry PETA

Oops

I wasn't going to tell anyone about what I'm about to tell you because at the time it wasn't funny, but now that a few days have gone by, it's kind of funny..kind of.

So the other day I took the dogs to the creek to play. It's be BEAUTIFUL here in Central AR, Perfect weather!! So I was playing fetch with Birdie. She loves being in the water so I was throwing a stick into the deepest part of the creek while standing on the banks in front of a steep 1 foot drop off into the 4 water.

After watching the dog jumping contests on TV earlier that week I was determined to teach Birdie how to dive into the water. She didn't like the idea too much and would run around to where the water became shallow and walk out into the deep water, then swim to the stick. I wanted her to leap into the water like the TV dogs!

I decided I would get close to the water's edge and get her really excited by getting excited myself. My thinking was that she would get so excited that she's just jump right in. Well I got so excited I lost my balance and fell into the creek, it was about three feet deep, and it would've have been that bad if I was dressed in t-shirt and shorts, but no I had on my work clothes, jewelry, and my cowboy boots (No I didn't wear them to work, just to the creek) I didn't just like fall in and catch my balance, I went all the way under. I was soaked from head to toe. Birdie ran around to the shallow end and walked/swam out to me really excited that I was going to play. I looked around to make sure no one was watching...like anyone could've seen me in the pasture anyway. But It was embarrassing. I jumped out of the water quickly, dumped the water out of my boots and ran home and showered.

I won't get that close to the water again needless to say.

Soul Mates??

Let's go back to the Mid 1980's for this post. Sean and I must have been meant to be together!! We have so much in common!

We both like to lick icing off the beaters as children ......

I guess he liked vanilla and I was more of a chocolate kind of girl...
...And check this out...we had the same pair of glasses!


And apparently my parents wanted me to be a biker.

Why I love the South

I just got these in an e-mail entitled Why I love the South. Being from the South I would take offense to that, but sadly, these are all things that you would see only in the South.

Orion's Belt

Caution: Before you look at this picture be warned that My nappy hair and Shiny forehead may cause night blindness.


So, this may come as a surprise to some of you but I'm a Church League Softball Superstar. Yeah that's right, superstar. OK...maybe not but I really love to play! I play left field and the last two teams we have played were the hardest teams we'll play in the league. I have gotten probably a total of 15 fly balls. So I've been running my butt off and I'm proud to say I've caught every one of them. (yes, I'm bragging)

As for my batting, I will say I'm in somewhat of a slump at the moment. Actually I've been in a slump for a few years. OK so I've never been good at batting. The picture below proves to you how much I suck at batting. I hit myself in the forehead with a foul ball. Yeah that's right.... I hit. myself. in the forehead. with a foul ball.

The pitch was inside so I thought I'd try to step back and rip it (yeahright) . I watched the ball hit my bat and I felt a sudden pain in my head. I'm pretty sure I was more embarrassed than in pain, because it really didn't hurt that bad.


The Ump looked at me and asked if I was OK and I don't know what came over me ... I guess I was a little stunned at what had just happened... but for some reason I stared blankly at him and frantically said "I can't see!" A look came across his face like he had just pooped his pants. I laughed immediately and he realized that I was joking. He laughed nervously. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did because he called the next pitch a strike and it totally should've been a ball. I still don't know why I said that to him..?

Anyway I was left with a nice row of stitch marks from the softball on my forehead that look mysteriously like the constellation Orion's Belt. Please do not confuse the three stitch marks with the freckle on the other side of my forehead, because it looks exactly the same. I just knew it would swell and bruise but I hasn't yet and it's been three days. So I guess I lucked out and just got a good little reminder that I suck at batting.


By the way. When I called Mom and told her I had stitches in my forehead from a foul ball she thought that I literally had to go get stitches in my forehead and I had been hit by a foul ball that someone else hit and that I just wasn't paying attention. Thanks Mom.

Run Gretchen Run.

See Gretchen & Leah

Gretchen sees something. What is it Girl?Gretchen sees Deer.See Gretchen run after deer. Run Gretchen Run.

Hear Leah yell, "Gretchen, Come."

See Deer walk towards Gretchen.

Hear Leah yell, "Gretchen, COME!"

See Deer run towards Gretchen. See Gretchen run for the woods.

Run Gretchen Run!

Hear Leah yell, "GRRRRREEEETTTCCCCHHHHHEEENNN!!!!!

See Leah run after Gretchen. See Gretchen run towards Leah.

See Leah pick up Gretchen.

See Leah yell at Deer and wave her arms wildly. See Deer run away.

See Leah in field protecting Gretchen. Hear Jenna Laugh.

Hear Leah Cry.

Hear Jenna laugh harder

See Leah pull briars out of Gretchen's hair.

See Gretchen get a Spanking.... Poor Gretchen.