I just wanted to share a little with you about how it's opened my eyes. I've had the verse on my blog since I found it. It's Isaiah 55 8:9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
It's no secret that Sean and I as a newly married couple are sometimes having to roll change to buy groceries. I mean Sean hasn't had a "real" job in three months, and I don't make that much yet. They tell me it takes a few years to make money in the insurance business. Sean is going to rodeos and working on the farm but when it rains, he can't do much on the farm and it's been a really wet summer and we've had to rely on his rodeo winnings, and I thank God that he's winning.
So now that you have our story....oh and don't pity me. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm not asking for sympathy I'm wanting to be a witness for God in what he's doing in our lives..it's just taking me awhile to get there..sorry I'll hurry up.
Anyways.. I'm what you might call a control freak. I tend to get a little bit nervous if I don't have control of every situation in my life, which tends to be a problem sometimes... OK so it tends to be a problem all of the time. I've really learned a lot in the last few months on how to relax and be OK with not having complete control. I think it has really helped my marriage and my relationship with others.
I keep a very detailed excel spreadsheet of our finances. I know when every bill is due, where are money is going, and how much we spend and I know to the penny at all times how much money is in my checking account. Sean, on the other hand, has no clue how much money he has in his account, how many bills we have, or when they are due and to be honest, I like it that way. He relies on me to tell him and I have control and I like it!
In the first few months after Sean lost his job, I freaked out. I wasn't nice to Sean because I was stressed about paying the bills and Sean wasn't worried about it. It made me mad he didn't worry. He let me keep up with how much money he had so I felt as if the burden of worrying was on me. Which now I see was stupid no one is supposed to worry, it doesn't help. I was always worried, always upset, always mad a Sean, always wondering why God allowed this to happen. I was always griping and stressing about every bill until we somehow scraped up enough money to pay them. Sean and I hated each other, we fought constantly and I realized that Money really is the root of all evil.
When I read Isaiah 55:8-9 I realized that God had just slapped me in the face. This verse said to me.."Hey, Control Freak! Stop Worrying!! Your ideas and your 'way' sucks! You will never ever be able to control God's path for you and Sean. Stressing about paying the bills, and worrying that you aren't going to make it is such a waste of time and is just like telling God you don't believe in Him because you don't believe He can take care of you. God's ways are so much higher than you ever could be.. so get off your high horse and just chill out.!!!" I immediately asked God to forgive me for not believing in Him and to help me always remember He is in control.
I've written that verse on Post It's and hung them everywhere. I've shared it with all my friends. Since that slap in the face, God has provided all we need to pay the bills plus some! Just when I think we won't be able to pay the bill, God provides the money to us in some form or fashion and it all turns out fine.
Since I've learned to relax and not worry about things I can't control, my life has been a lot happier. My relationship with God has strengthened and Sean and I have gotten along perfectly.
I still have to stop and recite this verse when I start getting stressed out, and it has helped me so much!! Maybe it can help you too! Thanks for listening to me ramble about my problems!!
Don't forget about my Give Away! The People at Betty Crocker want to send you free fruit roll ups!!
